Sunday, November 16, 2008
Who are you?
As I stood in front of the translucent fridge that encased the white wine bottles, a soft reflection of myself was carved. With hair tightly pulled back, white collar shirt neatly pressed,and a crisp white apron clinging onto my hip-I tilted my head to the side and smiled quietly. I liked what I see.I liked it because I had a sense of identity that I have been looking for and at that moment I was a passionate waitress.
But as time passes by, that same sense of identity diminished little by little.
"This is not who I want to be and this is not what I want to do any longer", says the voice in my head.
Doubts lingered in my head but it was never enough to spur a decision. And so I lingered and lingered in the restaurant.
Then, one fine day arrived and it changed everything. Gently I walked around guests that were attending a cocktail party in my restaurant and offered them tid bits from my tray. I flashed a big smile along with a sharp eye contact to initiate. I finished up my tid bits faster than the rest and glad that I won this time around. Feeling a little tired, so I stood at the bar and looked into the dimly lit room that were flooded by confident and well-dressed youngsters and oldies alike. Air of aristocracy surrounded them and passionate conversations continued as they slowly sipped in their wines. A surge of envy flooded my heart and a big part of me wants to be inside rather than being outside. At that point, I knew I had enough.
Everybody around me is pursuing their passion day by day and here I stood serving people that I don't know. I failed to recall my passion. I was lost and asked myself, "Who am I now that I've forgotten my passion?"
I was a traveller. A crazy traveller who would give any chance to embark on the journey of the unknown. A traveller who would empty herself upon each journey just so that she could come back soaked with the foreign culture and idealogies. A traveller who loves getting lost along the way as she believes its the journey that matters and not the destination.
As soon as she found out all the years she planted this dream were futile, she lost her sense of identity. Even this job was supposed to serve her big travelling dreams.
As I type all these words, I am still asking myself who am I now if I'm no longer passionate? I am a student? A daughter? A sister or a girlfriend?
It doesn't matter with what term your normally associate yourself with but most importantly, you must be passionate in it.
So who the fuck am I now?
by Zephyr at 6:09 AM |
1 Comments:
"
With a smile that can melt rocks,
With a sleepy calmness as a brook,
And a gleeful burst of exuberance,
she set out to conquer the world,
Quite a traveller,
Loving the earthly life,
hunts stags and wild boars in the forests,
She might climb the peaks of Everest,
And watch the sun rise,
And hopes to see green forests,fields,rivers,lakes,seas,towns,
She dreams of performing miracles,
preaching new religions,
and conquering whole kingdoms....
All that yearned the poet in me,
To emerge and speak the truth,
and so was created an,
Ode to Zephyr.
"
Most of us are having the same thought about ourselves. Who we are, what are we doing, is this i am supposed to do, meant to do , created to do ? Or something else ???
Apple CEO Steve Jobs said, "Don't get settled, keep looking, keep searching, until you feel this is what you want to do". Having said that, sometimes cercumstances around us raise against out goal/dream. Those who fight back, wins. Most of us have several kinds of problems. But we thing Grass is always greener on the other side. Thats not the case. Wherever we are, whatever we are doing, we must be focused towards or ultimate dream of our life ... Every time some obstacle comes on our way, throw it from your way, or change the way ... but the ultimate destination must remain same. We should believe in ourselves. Trust in ourselves. We must "not give in with out a fight". Forget about all material barriers. Dream ... Think ... Fly .. Beyond invincible :-)
Post was on 16th Nov. I hope by now you have found a ray reality of your dream. If not, don'y worry you will get soon ... "Don't settle, keep looking"
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