Have you ever went on a diet but suddenly you found yourself feasting on cookies just because your mind said "Just have a lil bit of cookies wouldn't hurt" ?
Have you ever splurged so much despite the promise you've made to save some money for the week just because your mind said "It's okay to shop, just a lil bit of shopping wouldn't hurt"?
Have you even been so broke but the moment you saw your friend eating subway, you made a bee line for subway as well? At the end of the day, you told yourself it doesnt hurt to have subway once it a while, just to make urself feel better.
Or have you ever missed classes and told yourself, it's okay to have a good sleep in once awhile and miss class a lil bit?Have you ever been so surprised and worried when you found out that you have missed 4 Law classes in a row?
Or have you ever been so in love and just told yourself it's okay to come back just half-and hour later from your date and before you knew it, you have have spent 4 hours extra with that person and your dad is nagging you to come home?
Have you ever pamper yourself unnecessarily with the "a- il-bit-of-somethin -wouldn't-hurt" excuse?
Have you ever found yourself in trouble just because of that "lil bit excuse"?
Have you ever felt so disappointed of yourself just because you indulge yourself too much in that "just a lil bit excuse"?
I know I have......
and that is why they say- sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit.
Junah in english it means, little by little, after some time it becomes a hill. It sounds wierd because its a direct translation. Ask june to translate it for you.
So Zeph, after this no more just a lil bit of excuse for you.
Liberation. Where are you liberation when I need you most? I've missed you. I feel empty and trapped without you. Did I lose you because of my own actions or did you leave me?
Liberation means To set free, as from oppression, confinement, or foreign control. Liberation to me means I have the right to do anything and everything I want as long as it doesn't cross the "boundaries". I can go out in the middle of night without telling anyone about it; that's my liberation. I can date a guy but still have the right to befriend whoever I want, doesn't matter if he or she likes me even more than a friend should; that is liberation to me.
When I do any of these liberating actions, I do not expect any objections because I belong to me! I am mine and not yours. I can be flexible and tolerating, but when I expect something not to be questioned or be ruffled, I EXPECT IT TO BE THAT WAY. When my expectations are respected and understood by someone that I love; that too is a liberation of choice for me.
So tell me, If i proceed into life with these principles because I believe my life to be solely mine, is this disrespectful? Is it rude to you?
If I am in a relationship (there are many non-spoken rules and principles), and I intent on being this way, is it rude or disrespectful? I don't ask for much, but I ask to have a few moments in my life where I don't have to share any single detail of my outing with you, and why I went out the house at 6 am in the morning without telling you, and why I sleep on the couch instead of sleeping with you on the bed. Those little minor things are liberation to me. I just feel like doing them on impulse, and I expect you to understand.
Is it rude to make a decision without taking you into consideration just because we are in a relationship and everything in a relationship meant to be shared? Is it too much to ask for a little space and a little room void of doubts and questions? I just want to do the things I want without having to ask anyone beforehand and without having anyone questioning me afterwards.
Is it too much?
