Saturday, September 15, 2007

questions. herrmmm

Don't have much to write. No inspirations except for a few questions circling in my head like

How many fine lines are there in the world like the fine line between stupid and clever, love and mental illness or hate and love? how many fine lines are they actually? curious...

Secondly, can you truly love someone if you don't trust them fully? does trust come alongside with love or are they two separate element? Which one do you think?

Thirdly, I have learned that to make a well functioning society, it needs social pressure. I know this contradicts my principles but on second thought, I agree with this statement. However, In 21st century there is no such thing as gender, religion or race anymore. Nobody wants to be associated with these terms but wanting to just be a person. A human or a soul. They just want to be them and not be recognised as a muslim, or black or a female. Their main aim is

TO BE A GOOD PERSON. thats all. As simple as that. I agree with this idea and so do I believe in social pressure.

What are the consequences of individualism? R they really good?

I don't know. Gonna read up on that.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Temptations!

I need to stay far away from AMAZON!

It's killing me with temptations!

Cd Obsessions + Availability of credit card + convincing comment from consumers + great choices = Make Zefer mad!!

That's why I'm blogging, so that I can divert attention away from Amazon. I am trying to fight the temptation to get Daddy's credit card and buy some really expensive lounge cds.

Help!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

On Valentine's Day, people receive and give flowers. Some got chocolates, cards, romantic candle-lit dinners, and other handmade stuff. To me, they are all superficial.

On Valentine's day, someone gave me a cat, and I believe that someone is God. On Valentine's day, I found a kitten in Meru playing with a dog. It was an adorable sight to see a kitten frolicking around with a dog that is three times his size.

I stopped my car at the side, and got down to see the kitten. A lady came up behind me and asked "would you like to have that kitten since you like it so much?".

I replied "Definitely, that's the purpose why I stopped by here, next to your house, to get it."

She put him in a box and gave him to me.

Henceforth, he was known as the Valentine Cat.

I called him Tux, then batman, and then blackie. Nothing suited him. My mum called him Louis, and Richer. My dad on the other hand, called him young man but most of the time, my parents referred to him as their "cucu". The name doesn't matter to us, because deep down in our heart he still meant the same because a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. He was still that mischievous, evil, butt-licking and hyper cat. He too, as cheesy as it sounds, showed us love.

Now, as I'm typing this I can't stop the tears from wetting my cheeks.Now it's different to come home and not see a black sprawling on the white marble floor. Now its different to stay at home and not have a black cat to carry around the house. It's definitely the hardest for my parents as they don't have a black cat to bring to bed with. My mum can't stop crying when she was about to go to sleep. Nothing feels the same anymore. His loss made us all feel empty.

It feels good to love, but with its goodness, pain is sure to come by. That's why I said he showed us love - because to love him is what we can do best, but his death, is....probably not the hardest thing to accept, but it is undeniably hard to accept. That love he showed us, gave us pain in the end.

Probably his death seemed incomprehensible to me yesterday, as disbelief filled me in and numbed me from all emotions. But when the numbness goes away, you are bound to feel all that emotions tripled its intensity. Probably its hard for most of you to understand, how a cat can cause such "grief" among the family, but when you pour your love towards something, doesn't matter a human being or an animal, its loss will sure cause pain.


Goodbye Louis. Hope you're doing good wherever you are. It feels as if your still here, but hiding under the table or up in the roof, away from our sight like you always do whenever you feel overwhelmed by our constant attention. = )

Now that you're not here I miss snuggling my nose under your fat cheeks and suck in your smell like how a mum does to her baby.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Superheroes and their stupidity.

Stories of Superheroes often end with triumph. However along the journey to fight evil and save the world, these superheroes always yearn to be ordinary. Other people would die to be the object of admiration and hope, but these superheroes just want to be normal. Even better a plebeian - hidden from scrutiny and the burden that comes with hope and expectations.

There is Spiderman who finds his gifts as a curse and always yearn to be like any other normal human being out there who could love. Superman, Batman and others just feel the same too. After watching these superheroes movies, I felt comforted to be normal and ordinary.

If being normal is all that great, why do I feel it sucks to be ordinary?

Today a bunch of ex-Help-ers who made it to Oxford and Cambridge came to give us a talk. They talked about how to ace the interviews and the tests in order to gain acceptance into these Universities. Well it seems that these interviews and tests require good thinking skills, and other brainy stuff that I feel I lack so much of.

If were to be in their position, I don't think I can go very far. I feel like I am just not good enough. After the talk, it makes me feel so ordinary. Just so common. Everybody shines in their own way, but it seems that I'm the only one who's plain and who doesn't maximize her talents and her capabilities. I am dull like the rock.

So much of wanting to be ordinary you Superheroes. Just stay the way you are coz u wouldn't want to feel as useless as I do now.