twist-irony-surprises

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

post of anger...

I am so tired of u! What is wrong with you? You blurt out whatever u say without thinking about other poeple's feeling. I think you have a Low EQ. I dun need u to be a great therapist, but i just need u to think before saying anything. Everyone is sick of u in this house. Just because you have the position is this house, doesnt mean you can say and do whatever you want.

Cant you see im struggling with myself? U have never been there for me, never tried to ask me of my problems, but instead you point fingers at me, and accuse me of things. Cant you see, im trying my best? But all u can say is im not good enough. There is never a way to please you, so i stop pleasing you. But i have never been rude to you. I Dont ask anything from you, i dont bother u with anything, but why do u act like i owe the world to you? I am just a lil headstrong, i stand on what i think is right, and you know that. Just because of that, you seem to pick on me.

I feel isolated in this house. You never pick on anyone except for me. U never pick on hazel, for a reason i dont know why, mayb because you're a coward and you treat her differently. You never bother about aminah and her studies. U never dared to pick on anyone else, except for me. ME ME ME!.

I hate it. I have been deceived and im having a hard time. I am struglling with myself, i am struggling with my mind, and im struggling because of you. Just because you dont see me studying, doesnt mean i dont study. I never ask of anything from u. I never ask for a car, i never ask for money. But all im asking is just for education, but u never seem to give me the security that i needed. You make me feel like im a standing on fine strand of thread. Nobody has ever tried as how i've tried, but just because im experiencing some low moment in my life, doesnt mean im slacking. I am a girl with big dreams, i've planned of what i want to do. However, i have been deceived with pretty dreams, and i slacked.

I know it's all my fault, and im paying the price now. It's an expensive price, and im bearing it alone, by myself. I hate myself because of what i have done. It hurts me alot when you come and add more salt to the wound. You shouldnt have. You expect me to open up to you, but u have to learn to put aside your pride and realise that trust need to be earned. Even from someone who is so much younger than you. I dont need materialistic things. I just need your support, understanding. motivation, and security. That's all im asking for. I have nobody to turn to, and all i hope is that, you could realise the situation that i am in now, and give me the support that i need. I need a humble fatherly figure, not a coach or a proud dad. I just need someone human for a minute, to understand and trust me. What could i do to deserve that?

by Zephyr at 5:12 AM |